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When I was kid, the popular Mamas and Papas song, California Dreamin’, had this young girl longing for the opportunity to travel to the golden state. The gorgeous Pacific Coast, the glorious Redwood trees, snow-capped mountains viewed from far-away deserts, and of course, the beautiful people of Hollywood as portrayed by Seventeen Magazine were all calling my name. Yep, that was what I would do when I grew up. I would live in California.

That phase lasted about a year and then maturity began influencing my goals, and I decided that moving across the country and leaving my family and friends on the hopes of meeting Kurt Russell wasn’t worth the sacrifice. So, I put a visit to California on my bucket list and made my plans to attend West Virginia University instead of hanging out on 77 Sunset Strip and Sunset Boulevard. And I haven’t been sorry.

It’s no secret that during the past fifty years, California has been moving to the ideological left. Ronald Reagan was the last of the conservative governors, and although Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Republican, he is not conservative. He won the state’s governorship on name recognition and celebrity status.

But where the allure of all things beautiful beckoned the masses to the state, progressivism was also becoming the law of the state’s land. The Democrat progressives took control of the state’s political process, and the once prosperous state began unravelling. California became the inspiration for all things progressive throughout the country.

And now that Donald Trump has been elected president, progressive policy in California has come under fire. No more federal money is to be allocated to sanctuary cities. Progressivism, which has fueled sanctuary cities and allowed the protection of illegal criminals, has met a foe in Donald Trump, and some of the radicals in the state have called for secession, which, by the way, is not likely to happen.

Immediately following Trump’s victory, the loons began their calls for secession, which have been met with a grain of salt. But the more I think about it, maybe allowing California to secede would be of benefit to the nation. After all, when gangrene threatens the body, we amputate the foot.

Now, I’m not suggesting that all of the people in California are not worth keeping. To the contrary, one of my closest friends in the world, who is as dear to me as a brother, resides in California with his wonderful family. But I have been working on him to come back to Country Roads. If you are reading this, Charlie, c’mon back to the land of sanity.

My decision to wish the people of the state well and set them adrift came when I learned that the state had just spent a hundred thousand dollars of taxpayer money on gender reassignment surgery for the fifty-seven year old convicted murderer, Shiloh Heavenly Quine. Quine, at the age of nineteen had kidnapped and killed a thirty-three year old man in 1980. His victim begged for his life. And now the state of California rewards Quine with what amounts to cosmetic surgery to fulfill his fantasy. The daughter of Quine’s victim has stated that she is dizzy and sick to think that she is helping to pay for optional surgery for the man who murdered her father.

Quines’ surgery has set a precedence for other transgender inmates. Now that Quine has had his penis lobbed off, he will be moved to a female prison where the female inmates will have the pleasure of showering with a man who has no penis. Inmates, who are transgender women and not had the surgery but live in the men’s facilities, will be gifted with little items to appeal to their femininity. They will adorn themselves with nightgowns, scarves, and necklaces. Perhaps, Shania Twain’s hit song, “I Feel Like a Woman” will be the designated cell block lullabye.

In support of Quine the Transgender Law Center reported that the murderer had supposedly tried to cut off his own penis three times at the age of sixteen and tried to hang himself five times during his lifetime sentence. Tried to cut his penis off three times? I’m not an expert on penises, by no means, but c’mon now. One good whack with a sharp knife should be all it takes. And my question is, ‘why the heck did they stop him?’ It would have saved the taxpayers of California a hundred grand if Ms. Heavenly had just self-mutilated.

Yeah, I’m sure that Shiloh Heavenly Quine is the quintessential picture of sanity now that he has had his castration. There’s just something so wise and cathartic about having one’s own genitalia sliced off.

Quine’s victim’s family has been mentally tortured again, and progressives around the country are celebrating this victory of righteousness carried out by the state of California.

Progressivism in itself is a diabolical ideology, and those who abide by the tenets of this wicked philosophy are themselves disturbed. California is leading the charge of this madness.

There are two options. We can hope that California does indeed break off of the continental United States and fall into the ocean. Or we can grant them our warmest wishes and farewells and give them permission to secede. Since I wish the people of the state no harm, and falling into the ocean could bring about catastrophic death, and since I am not a believer in the “California is going to break off into the ocean’ theory, I am going to opt for secession.

My apologies to the Mamas and Papas. But there is no ‘California Dreamin’ anymore. Your California has become a nightmare.

You put secession on the table, California. I say, “have at it.” Send us your walking papers. I, for one, would have no objection to your departure. Adios!


  1. Could we send the rest of the freaks to Kalifornistan before they secede? Can we decide beforehand that there will be NO immigration to this country from Kalifornistan after the secession? Those are my conditions, meet them and I am on board. Where do I sign?

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