GOT MILK? THEN YOU’RE A RACIST

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We know that millennials are snowflakes who seek safe spaces when confronted with adversity. And we know that they have received an inferior college education through no fault of their own. They have been taught what to think rather than how to think, and the lessons they have learned have been disastrous both personally and socially.

But we are just beginning to see the unbridled millennials who have lost control of their senses. They are crawling out from under their security blankets in time to make a public appearance to remind Americans just how badly we screwed them up. And it is our fault, because we failed to get control of the Marxist universities and colleges.

One millennial, in particular, has received undeniable brain damage at California State University in Long Beach. Samantha Diaz, who writes for the school newspaper, has reached the breaking point. She has written an op-ed alleging that millennials have been brainwashed into believing that milk is a drink which strengthens bones. But according to the pitiful Diaz, it is really a symbol of hatred that most people have failed to recognize.

Ah, but thanks to Ms. Samantha we now all know that we have spent years purchasing and swallowing a drink under false pretenses. While we thought we were boosting our health with the nutrients found in a glass of milk, we were really helping to advance the institution of hatred and racism.

In her piece, entitled, “Milk New Symbol of Hate?”, Diaz notes that our country was founded on racism and that every facet of our government from Voter ID laws to state testing are reflective of racist undertones, even our dietary guidelines. She argues that even the food we eat is racist, because it is not as beneficial to some minorities.

Writing that blacks could be harmed by high intakes of calcium, Diaz explains that excessive amounts of calcium can contribute to prostate cancer of which African-American men are at an increased risk. Blacks secrete less calcium per day than whites, and since our government insists on promoting dairy products in the dietary food groups, they are intentionally ignoring the dark side of milk.

I felt much better after reading the commentary by Samantha Diaz. At first glance at the title, I thought that Diaz was going to suggest something stupid such as “milk is racist, because it is white.”

But instead, she contends that our government wants Blacks to drink milk so that they will get cancer and die. So, since milk is a toxin to blacks, milk is a symbol of hatred and racism.

Will Diaz go as far as to boycott Ben and Jerry’s, Baskin Robbins, Chuckie Cheese, and the Cheesecake Factory? If milk makes Blacks get cancer, then so would ice cream and cheese. And yogurt? What about yogurt? Will Blacks be prohibited from buying this calcium-laden milk product?

Samantha Diaz needs to retain a good lawyer. And she needs to sue California State University on grounds of denying her an adequate education. On second thought, she may not even need a lawyer. She could be her own best witness, especially if she presents her op-ed “Milk New Symbol of Hate” as evidence.

What’s next for the mixed-up millennials? Will Diaz or a fellow millennial know-nothing write the op-ed “Cotton the New Symbol for White Nationalism”? I would wager that with just a little help from her weak-minded peers, she could present a valid case against cotton. The color of cotton represents the white man, and over a hundred and fifty years ago, the white man used the black man to pick the cotton on southern plantations. Thus, cotton is the evil white product which represents decades of slavery and racism.

We need to remove cotton and cotton products from our culture so as to eradicate the appearance of white nationalism. Cotton clothing, cotton balls, cotton swabs, cotton sheets, and cotton gloves need to go. And while we are at it, we need new laws forbidding the sales of cotton candy. Just the name “cotton” candy is offensive.

What about puppies? Puppies might be adorable, but they grow up to be dogs, and slave masters used dogs to track down runaway slaves. Puppies are therefore frightening to African-Americans.

Sound ridiculous? When it comes to the distorted thinking of a liberal millennial, nothing is too ridiculous. And in a decade or so these “college-educated” millennials are going to be running the entire show. It’s time to invest in a bunker.

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