IF YOUR LAST NAME IS LYNCH, YOU’RE A RACIST

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Can we just slice off the entire western coast from the union and cut our losses? The Republics of California, Washington, and Oregon have veered so far off the beaten path that they have become the infested playgrounds of poisonous snakes from the Marxist school of thought.

If it’s not Evergreen State College in Washington state calling for a day without white people, it’s the Californians who are punishing companies who bid on building the border wall and leading the nation in the reality show, “Who Wants to Spend a Day at the Freak Show.” Okay, I concede. New York is a visible close second or tied with California for the “weirdest state” award.

And we can’t forget the Oregon environmentalist wackos who spend their days hugging trees and hating unborn babies. Oregonians worship the forest and frown on the critters spawned from human procreation.

But now Oregon just topped the list for the “Words Have Meaning” war. The Centennial School Board of Gresham and South Portland, Oregon, just voted to change the names of two schools, because the schools are named after a family by the name of Lynch. The Lynch family was so generous as to donate (and for you liberals out there, donate means to give away, as in free) the land for the schools.

Before anyone acknowledges the generosity of the Lynch family, we must first recognize that the name Lynch is offensive to people of color, snowflakes, and idiots. You see, if you add an “ing” to Lynch you get the word lynching.

Just what were those wicked people thinking when they named the twos school after the Lynches? And why would the Lynches allow them to do it, knowing that their name was a racist word? In fact, maybe the town should make a law that anyone with the name of Lynch must legally change his name so as not to keep offending people.

Oh gosh, that would mean that the first black female attorney general of the United States, Loretta Lynch, is a racist. Maybe she should change her name. She is, after all, insulting to the sensitivities of liberal loons everywhere.

I’m wondering if Oregon will pass a law that prohibits Oregonians from saying the word “Lynch.” That would mean the first black woman attorney general of the United States was Loretta ‘The L Word.’

I would suspect that the colleges and universities in the aforementioned states are offering four year degrees in “Microaggressions and Recognizing Offensive Words.” College students may have difficulty finding North Korea on a world map, but they sure know a “scary” and “offensive” word when they hear one.

I feel a national divorce gaining traction.

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