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There is nothing more devastating than losing a child. It is the nightmare of nightmares. And the parents, whom I have known that have lost a child, have never completely recovered from the loss. Understandably, it is that “I can’t go on anymore” horror movie.

But it seems that some Sandy Hook parents such as Nicole Hockley, find the deaths of their children to be more devastating than the deaths of other children who may die of cancer or a gun shot wound in Chicago. On the fifth anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting, Hockley, whose son Dylan was one of the twenty children shot at Sandy Hook, wrote a lengthy facebook post castigating President Trump and White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Hockley is mad that on December 14th, the anniversary of the tragic shooting, Trump hosted a Christmas Party at the White House and NRA President Wayne LaPierre attended. She was also angry, because Sanders has said that she doesn’t believe any action could have been taken to prevent the shooting. Hockley writes that she can’t forgive Sanders for her lack of compassion.

Undoubtedly, it is politically incorrect to be critical of a Sandy Hook parent, but I have a few words for Ms. Hockley. The loss of Dylan and the other children was indeed one of the nation’s most appalling and mortifying tragedies. No parent should ever have to suffer through the ordeal of losing their child through sickness, accident, or assault. But they do.

Every hour of every day brings the death of someone’s child. It is heartbreaking, and in every single case, it is unnecessary. Just as Nicole Hockley grieves for her beloved son, parents of deceased children everywhere suffer the same heartache.

On every day of the year, there are mothers in excruciating pain as they endure the anniversary of their child’s death. Yet, for obvious reasons, that being political, Sandy Hook parents like Hockley are expecting the president and world to stop and acknowledge the death of their child. They believe their pain to be more hurtful, more unbearable, and more unacceptable than that of parents who lose their children to disease or drowning or any other unimaginable event.

Hockley might want to consider the life of the parent who spends several years watching her child waste away from cancer or muscular dystrophy. She might want to connect with a parent who her lost her son from a heart attack on a football field at practice. Or maybe the child who was hit by a car while his parents watched helplessly.

Yes, Sandy Hook parents, your loss was horrific. Mothers and fathers should never have to suffer the loss of their children. But they do, and it’s always unnecessary, and the grief is always intolerable.

Should President Trump never host a holiday party? Should the anniversary of the death of every child be considered as sacred or only the anniversary of the deaths of the Sandy Hook children?

Suggesting that Wayne LaPierre not be invited to the White House Christmas Party is irrational. He was among many well known guests. Yet, Hockley wanted to politicize her son’s death by pouncing on Trump and Sanders with her emotional appeal.

Five years has passed since Hockley lost her son. She will never get over his death. But we all know that time erodes the acute piercing pain of grief. Hockley should be able to put into perspective that she, like millions of other parents, will be spending Christmas with memories of what might have been. She isn’t unique. She is only different in that her son was the victim of a random mass murderer.

And if you ask the parents of a young man lost in Afghanistan or of a kid just walking to school in Chicago, they can assure you that their pain is as deep and tormenting as Nicole Hockley’s and every other Sandy Hook parent.

Why must these parents, like Hockley, allow the Left to desecrate the memory of their children with manipulative political attacks? It’s a shame that they can’t remove themselves from their own pain to recognize the pain of all grieving parents.

May God bless grieving parents everywhere including Sandy Hook parents. Hopefully, Hockley can come to terms with the reality that parental grief is universal, no matter how tragically the child may have died.


  1. My youngest daughter died in my arms 24 years ago. It left a hole in my heart that will never heal. The best advice I ever heard came from Sandy Hook parents Francine and David Wheeler. They said you can’t ever fill the hole left in your heart but you can cover your heart with love to protect that sacred hole. They said their job today is to make their hearts bigger than the loss they suffered and to make decisions out of love. Good words to live by.

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